Monday, March 19, 2007

QI 2007 some exchanges

This is the

PROLOGUE

___

R


I came to the land of the free

I spoke

They told me what my voice had said

what they said i said


they heard

this

i thought

and turned silent

they took my voice away


then I qualified to be a researcher


I went

I asked

I unearthed

they spoke

or i thought they did

I was told to write what they said


should I?

why should I...



P


They knew me before I came
They knew me - the TV told them all about me
But now I am here
Can I tell them the other side?
I donít knowÖ
Do I have the voice to tell them all?
May be yesÖmay be no

I knew themÖbefore I got there
Now I am on the other side
Can they tell me about the other side?
I donít knowÖ
Do they have the voice to tell it all?
May be yesÖmay be no

We are sameÖbut different
I am themÖthey are me
We all searching for the voice
The voice that wants to speak it all
The voice that is still afraid to speak it all



C


"the burden was not mine to bear"

I was there
&
IMMEDIATELY
I felt the weight of the past,
of the future
of their professed knowledge
and of reality.
and once again,
I felt likeÖ
why is it always
MY
responsibility to
explain
my culture & my experiences
to
YOU...
but
this time it was
different.
because
it wasnít my responsibility
the burden was not mine to bear
I was not one
of
them
but somehow I was trapped with them.
I couldnít leave them with that weight.
I couldnít create that weight
and not
bear that weight too.
outside...I was not one of them...
but inside I was with them.

-cj-

this time
I took their questions
person-ally
because
I knew that
the answers
were already constructed
because I knew that
there was a part of me
that they tried
to hide, not wanting to collide
they struggledÖand wonderedÖand pondered
about how to
ìintegrate
[themselves]
into this environment.î
They wanted to pretend
that there werenít aspects of me
that didnít blend
into this horizon
and so, when the questions came,
I found myself
on the other side of the fence
playing defense
of a sort
and wondering how research
became entangled with
historyÖ
wondering why the faces of their stories
resembled my own.
But while recognizing, applauding, and encouraging
their defensive tactics
I fought
against
me
and what I represented
because I found
my feet in both worlds
and remembered
what
it
felt
like
to have your
song
re-constructed.
-cj-


__

R
__

http://cyberdivalive.livejournal.com/2006/02/15/